sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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