somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
