just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
