I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
