Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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