69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
