Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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