I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
