I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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