Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
