Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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