He is an equal opportunity slut.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I came so hard my ears popped.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
