I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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