girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I need moral support for this bender
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
