i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
