Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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