she looked like the before picture.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
