True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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