This house was built for laser tag.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
