Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
two words: eviction party
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
