I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't think brook has ever known best
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
