I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
