Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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