I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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