speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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