he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize