Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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