Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
