"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
