Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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