Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm passing your future prison.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
