is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
