You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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