Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
