He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You were trust falling into bushes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
