4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
