he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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