and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
