her vagine was all disorganized.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
