Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
