I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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