so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
