i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
