Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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