id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
