GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I will pee on everything he values.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
