did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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