Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
