Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
