is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
