so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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