Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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