So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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