I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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