it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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