So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
