Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
