Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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