if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
how does that bad decision feel?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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