Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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